Welcome to Personal Growth Tips

the bus

On the school bus – Review with children how to behave on a bus and what to do if anyone bothers them. Make certain children know where to get on and off the bus.

Family Bed

People criticize when kids sleep in bed with you. It actually builds the child´s sense of security.

Have a staring contest

Prowess is a guy thing, right? Lest you believe that little baby of yours is a pushover, engage her in a time-honored ritual of seeing who´ll blink first. She may surprise you. Babies love to contemplate faces, and chances are that before she gets bored you´ll have dropped your gaze, wondering where she got that incredible dimple, or whether her ears look like your mom´s or your wife´s.

Order

When there is chaos and things are out of hand and several children are involved, simply get everyone involved in re-establishing order and cleaning up any resulting mess.

Attention

Children quarrel for attention, companionship (boredom), and power. Learn to recognize the motives behind a child´s fighting so that you can choose the correct way to deal with the situation.

Nature

Older children can learn about weather by using a map to look up the temperature of cities around the world and discovering how hot each gets in the summer. Watch cloud formations and imagine. Do the shapes look like horses, ducks or other animals?

Rewards

Do not reward children for taking on the roles of aggressor or victim. Therefore, you should not provide negative attention to the aggressor, nor encourage the victim by making the position desirable.

Discover Geography

What makes a place special? What are the physical characteristics of your hometown? Take children for a walk around your neighborhood and look at what makes it unique. Point out how it is similar to other places you have been and how it is different. If you live near a park, a lake, a river, a stream or a creek, take your children there and spend time talking about its uses. Read stories about distant places with children or sing songs to teach geography, for example "Home on the Range" or "California, Here I Come." Make a wish list of places you would like to visit with your child. Look them up on a map and plan a trip there--real or pretend.

Feelings

Insisting on good feelings between children only leads to bad feelings. The more you try to get children to like each other, the more they fight. The more you let them be different, the sooner they will become friends.

Sharing

Do not expect young children to share. You can encourage sharing, but do not punish a child for his inability to share. Additionally, children should not be expected to share everything. Give the child some control in deciding what he will share and what he will keep separate. The owner of the property should also learn to take care of his possessions. Thus, if he leaves out a toy that is not to be shared, then he must accept that it may be played with by others. Teach children to take responsibility for their behavior (i.e. if a child hits another child for taking his toy, reinforce that hitting is not appropriate). Children should learn to take care of other´s property.

Sleep

Make sure kids get a full 8 hours asleep. They will be more alert at school and not give you hassles in the morning.

Bottom of it

Resist the urge to "get to the bottom of it" when you don´t know who started the fight. Doing so teaches children to blame others, rather than teaching them to resolve problems and work together. Remember too, that the victim is often the instigator!

Be there for a cold or fever

Nobody wants their baby to get sick, but there´s nothing like an illness to prove how much the little guy really needs you. A night spent rocking a sick child will make you painfully, preciously aware of what parenting is all about.

Misbehavior

Use natural consequences for misbehavior. For example, remove the object two children are fighting over. Separate fighting children. Let them spend time apart. Note that this is not the same as giving a time out. There is no punishment involved, it is merely keeping them separate. It is also helpful to give each child a physical chore or task to do after you have separated them. This will channel their energies positively and drain off some of the emotions.

Close in Age

Remember, siblings a year a part naturally have more friction between them than those with more than one year between their birthdays. This rivalry is caused by their similar needs and similarity in a developmental stage. They may also resent adult demands to cooperate and share.

Community

Watch for special events, such as free outdoor music festivals or concerts. Many communities host evening concerts in local parks--pack a picnic dinner and enjoy time with your family. People are resources too--collectors, painters, and backyard naturalists may live in your neighborhood, eager to share their knowledge with children.

Rainy days

Summertime often brings thunder clouds. On days when outdoor activities are not possible, you can share family history and photos with your children. Pull out the old videotapes of past family gatherings and events. Prepare an indoor picnic with your child or cook dinner together.

Whatever the activity, children can enjoy and appreciate the summer months in ways that are both educational and stress-reducing for all involved.

Safety

Never allow anyone to be hurt; everyone should always feel safe from physical harm. Do not allow any kind of physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting). Teach the child to express angry feelings by using words or drawing pictures. Your ultimate goal is to teach self control. (Remember that you must set an example. If a child sees an adult using physical means to handle problems, it reinforces the idea that hitting is indeed okay.)

Keeping Control

Control the atmosphere of the home. Attitudes are contagious; anger, in particular, is very hard to dissipate, and it spreads very quickly. Control the atmosphere by:

a. Controlling the tempo of the day.

b. Maintaining physical order in the home

c. Providing opportunities for creative, constructive play.

d. Always maintaining control as the adult.