Sadness/Grief Tips

Read these 29 Sadness/Grief Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Personal Growth tips and hundreds of other topics.

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How do I respond to a death?

Respond to the death as soon as possible

Don't assume the person is fine or that closer friends or relatives are enough to fill the void.

What about shock?

Remember that shock may carry the bereaved through those first few days

A certain amount of shock is common even when the death is expected. Shock just softens the impact of reality and allows the grief-stricken some time to absorb the facts. Respond to their immediate needs; most often the tough stuff comes later

How can I keep going - it feels like it can´t get any worse?

The Darkest Hour

"In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and
given strength to continue and endure."

--Heart Warrior Chosa

Should I seek counseling?


-Seek out grief counseling if you feel you cannot cope alone. Grief counseling is available through community resources, churches and licensed therapists. Join a grief support group. Local community papers will usually have listings. Use the Internet and join an electronic bulletin board dedicated to supporting individuals who have lost loved ones.

What is S.A.D.?


Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is a unique depressive syndrome brought about by the decreased amount of natural light during the winter in northern latitudes that causes dismal suffering to a great many people. Yet, it was not until recently that clinical physicians and researchers focused their attention on finding a way to banish S.A.D.'s “winter blues.”

How is light important?


Bright Light Therapy, the exposure of S.A.D. sufferers on a daily basis to the brilliant light generated by specialized phototherapy units, has been shown to provide marked relief from S.A.D.'s misery in over 75% of cases, with little incidence of side effects...and stands as the treatment of first choice by clinicians for their patients.

How do I beat the blues?


For those with a case of the winter blues. Experts suggest taking time for yourself to relax and meditate. Get outdoors even for a short walk. If you ski do it more. Winterize your bike and ride more. Ride an idoor trainer or rollers. Indulge in cheerful conversation and amusements. Listen to music. Stretch and do yoga.

Why should I even try anymore?

Darkest Moments

"It is during our darkest moments that we must
focus to see the light."

--Taylor Benson

How do I ask for help?

Asking for Help

-Ask for what you need from others. Accept what help they offer. Now is not the time to try to do everything by yourself.

Who do I turn to?

Turn to Others

-Seek people who will understand your need to talk about what happened. Seek out people who will really listen to your remembrances.

What about crying?

Encourage and/or allow tears

Crying is a normal and healthy reaction to grief. Provide a shoulder and a tissue.

Should I make decisions?


-Don't make major decisions. The time of grief is a time of instability.

How do I hang in there?

Hang in there if you can

Be careful about offering advice or suggestions, as your friend's feelings will be changing for quite awhile. If the death was particularly traumatic or complicated, a few counseling sessions could be a consideration later on.

Should I drink?


-Avoid the temptation to use alcohol or drugs to numb the painful feelings.

How do I mention death?

Encourage talking and reminiscing

Bring up your good memories. Say their name! Remember, the important thing is that our deceased loved ones lived, not that they died.

What if I don´t feel festive?

Feeling Festive

Do not feel obliged to feel festive. Accept your inner experience and do not force yourself to express specific feelings. If you have recently experienced a tragedy, death, or romantic break-up, tell people about your needs.

How do I cope with death?

One Day at a Time

-Know that there will be good days and bad days. Pangs of intense grief can surface during holidays, significant events such as birthdays or anniversaries.

How do I remember a pet?


Do something to memorialize the life of the pet. Remember them and honor them.

How do I bury a pet?

Send a Gift

If you are burying an animal add a picture, their favorite toy or a picture to the casket. Then a piece of you will always be with them.

How do I help a friend?

Notice Things

What do they need and what can you do? Don't expect to be asked... it's a confusing and unpredictable time for everyone. Think about providing some of the essentials... tissues, extra coffee, disposable glasses, cups, plates, napkins, paper towels, toilet paper, baggies and containers for leftovers. None of these are perishable and can be returned or used later.

How do I tell others how I feel?


Express your feelings to those around you in a constructive, honest, and open way. If you need to confront someone with a problem, begin your sentences with "I feel."

How do I heal?


-Allow yourself time to heal. Pay attention to your health. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Eat a healthy diet. Get outside in the sunshine for exercise or a mild walk.

How do I remember?


-Remember the loved one often and as much as you need to. Look at photographs, read old letters and retell your memories to friends and other members of the family.

Should I mention God?

Avoid clichés and references to God unless otherwise indicated

You might consider a heartfelt, "I'm sorry," "I don't know what to say," or a warm hug.

How does light help?

Usage of light

Usage varies according to each person and the type of light box used. But a typical user relies on a box about 2 feet by 2 feet, and 6 inches deep. The user places the box 17 inches away, at a 45-degree angle so as not to look directly at the light.

Thirty minutes of indirect exposure is enough to restore patients to their normal, active selves

Should I cry?


-Cry. Tears are the healthiest expression of grief. Don't try to hold back crying to the sake of others.

How do I cope with death?

Take Time

-Take time. Don't let others rush you into “getting over” your feelings.

How should I help a friend?

Avoid judgement of the grief-stricken

Most often, they can't even think straight. Almost anything is acceptable at first, as long as it isn't physically harmful to the bereaved or those around them.

How do I listen?

Listen... and listen... and listen

"Just be there" when you can, and when you have the courage and the energy. Being with the bereaved is hard and exhausting work.

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